figuring it out

I’m not sure why I’m doing this. I keep second-guessing it, because, HELLO like I need one more thing to do. I’m not exactly hemorrhaging time and energy. I’m a stay at home mom, chasing, feeding, cleaning and conversing with this little piece for work for the 12 waking hours of the day (and being as quiet as possible during the 12 sleeping hours. Er, 14 sleeping hours if you include nap, which isn’t her strong suit.)

What can I say besides I wanna do it. I teeter between feeling exhilarated and frustrated and victorious and exhausted, pretty much running the gambit everyday. I feel as if I can make the time and want to share my world with the Internet. Game on.

Writing has always been my outlet, my release. I do keep a journal when I feel I “need” to, which sadly makes my journal pretty depressing. (Like that roommate in Bridesmaids says, “I thought it was just a really sad handwritten book.”) Note to anyone in the future: I’m a happy person and good things happen to me. I just don’t feel compelled to pick up my journal & a pen. It’s an incomplete portrait of my life.

Blogs can be the opposite though, can’t they? They can get all fluffy and braggy, making it seem like the writer has it all figured out and has so much more time, energy, parenting prowess and friends than you do. I don’t want this to be like that. I, like everyone out there, do not know what I’m doing and figure it out as I go along. But sometimes the figuring takes so much work, why not share?


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