As my toddler gets older and I get further into this whole motherhood thing, I’ve noticed walls crumbling down everywhere. Things I said I’d never do or maybe silently judged other mothers for in the past? I so get it now.
In the past 24 hours, I’ve:
- Taken a maraca to the head. At Gymboree Music class, a boy a few months younger than Margo threw his maraca at my forehead at point-blank range. It HURT. I held it together, said “owww!” and let his grandma take care of it. The part that surprised me was that I truly wasn’t upset. He’s a kid, he doesn’t know. Jamie of the past would have thought something spiteful like “CONTROL YOUR KID!” Now, I know that’s sort of not possible.
- Gave her mac and cheese for TWO meals yesterday. In my defense, I tried 2 other meals before throwing up my hands and giving her mac and cheese again for dinner, after having it for lunch. Somedays, I truly feel like feeding a toddler should be some sort of Geneva convention recognized form of torture. Jamie of the past used to promise her kids would eat well rounded dinners, not something appalling like PB&J’s or mac and cheese. But, here we are. Meat? No way. Veggies? Haha. Some days, mac and cheese is all she’ll eat, and not for lack of trying. We just throw out a lot of other stuff.
- Let the TV babysit her. I had a lot to get done this morning before her 18 month well visit (which she aced, of course) and knew it’d only take longer and be 100% inefficient with my little 32 inch, 27 pound tot emptying all the bags I was packing and pulling out all the stuff I was putting in drawers. So, Elmo wins. And you know what? Didn’t feel bad at all. Got my stuff done, ate breakfast and wasn’t late for the doc. And she learned about the word glockenspiel.
I think it’s funny how we all start out with some level of boundaries for how we’ll parent. One I still have in tact is no fast food. I totally get the appeal of it now, in a way I didn’t before, but I don’t even want to go down that road.
I realize now that some days, you do what you need to do. And moderation is more important than anything else. I don’t care that she watches Sesame Street for an hour, as long as we read some books and actively play later. In a way, I feel like learning to be a parent is about relaxing and realizing that some of the lines you’ve drawn are unnecessary and might actually be making it harder. It’s important to have your philosophy kind of “outlined”… but I think rolling with the changes is the most important thing I’ve learned so far!
What did you swear you’d never do and now do it?