*pffft* That’s My Parenting Ego Deflating

So, I need to spend my morning coffee pouring my heart out about yesterday.

I spend so many days in awe of my kid. Every single day, sometimes many times a day, she’ll whip out a sentence I’ve never heard her say before, sing a song I didn’t know she knew or do something independently that impresses me. That’s one of my favorite things about this age, so far. She just continues to grow more mature and surpass my expectations for her.

BUT. Yesterday reminded me that, while she may be mature and independent and growing, she’s still little. Have you ever heard that fun fact that the toddler phase is comparable to the teenager phase? In that they’re changing so much, so rapidly & trying to define themselves, but in a lot of ways, being a toddler is harder because the communication is lacking so much, and they’re still SO dependent on others for basic needs. I feel this comparison more acutely some days over others… yesterday it made total sense, and I toasted to it with my beer as my toddler fought going to sleep until 7:45.

When I went into daycare to pick up Margo yesterday, I was greeted by the teacher saying hello and that Margo had had a “rough day today.” She quickly filled me in on an altercation where she pushed someone down and pulled her hair. That feeling when you get your kid from preschool and the news of the day is the worst yet? I was there. It hit me hard. We actually had TWO Incident Reports from yesterday, the hair pulling and a pushing down incident because she didn’t want her friend to sit beside her.

Never mind the helpless feeling me and Scott commiserate on, not knowing what actions preceeded the reported incident (maybe the friend who had her hair pulled deserved it!) Never mind we weren’t there and can’t recreate what happened and teach her or punish her at our house. Never mind the unfairness of having a crumby day at work and looking forward to picking up my kid and being blindsided with something way worse than “she peed her pants.” All of those suck.

It’s rare, but yesterday she sort of disappointed me. Perhaps it’s because my expectations were inflated (due to the continued impressing me that I noted above)… but it was the ultimate pin stuck in my ballooned parenting ego. *pffffffttt*

She had a bad day. *shrug* Happens to everyone, right? Or should I go ahead and find a behaviorist?


10 thoughts on “*pffft* That’s My Parenting Ego Deflating

  1. Completely normal. I am impressed she has made it this far without an altercation. Landon was getting bitten in infants and proceeded to return the favor in toddlers. It is definitely this age. He does great and then one day WHAM car to the head of another kid. Hell he did it in front of us last week to a little one. We made him apologize and give him the little boy his car. And it worked. But since this is just a “single” incident, I bet it is just a bad day. They have em…we have em. Pffffttt indeed

  2. I’m with you on the kid impressing me and it will be a sucker punch once something like you experienced happens.
    We have made it through infants and now pushing through toddlers with no issues. I’m waiting and it will make me sad for sure 😦
    Chalk it up to a bad day and know that surely there was more to the story.

  3. I hate that part of not knowing the entire story! It is my life… Julia pushes all of Katie’s buttons and Katie get so frustrated with her that she hits her or pushes her. It is so hard to discipline! Katie shouldn’t hit but sometimes I totally understand why she did.

    It is very hard to be a 2 year old… nobody REALLY knows but you exactly what you are trying to say. You guys are doing a great job & should be proud that it took months of daycare for her to push & pull hair!! (Or at least get caught!)

    • Thanks 🙂 You’re probably right (I hadn’t thought about it taking “this long” to have an incident report) We’ve had small incidents before, mostly at Marbles when it gets crazy crowded and other kids will take something she was playing with or something. It bugs me because THAT’S not sharing, but then we’re asking her to jsut be cool, but not do that. It’s tough stuff, teaching all of this.

      And here I was thinking Margo was at a disadvantage not having a sibling yet, but I suppose that comes with its own challenges…

  4. Go figure. When my kid’s cousins hit her and she doesn’t hit back, I worry that I’ve taught her too well never to hit and worry she’ll never stand up for herself. She is so deeply and personally offended by being hit. Have I taught her to expect a gentle world where no one will ever want to hurt her? How’s that for life preparation? Some of our kids behavior is modified by our parenting skills. But some of it is just them learning to be an evolved human and overcome their baser instincts. I’m sure Margo’s doing pretty well for two, when she has no choice developmentally but to be the center of her own universe. The “bright side” is if and when Margo gets a sibling you’ll get plenty of opportunity to witness the events leading up to it and discipline at home 🙂

    And I’m with you on that awful feeling of coming home from work and getting blindsided with something worse thn the crappy day you thought was finally over. Ugh.

    • Margo is no pacifist, sadly. It’s a tough balance, and even harder not being with her all the time to be consistent (bc who knows what gets flagged at daycare and how much goes unnoticed??)

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