I have largely neglected you, blog. I apologize. I felt compelled to share some thoughts today relating to my now 100% shared “I’m Pregnant” news. I know, my timing is impeccable. It’s April Fools’ Day but I promise it’s fo real. I’m 15w4d and due 9/19.
You all might be just finding out, but we’ve known since early January. There’s a lot of anticipation, excitement and unknowns. I’ve written a letter to my youngest (and final!) child…
Sometimes I think about how difficult it will be to have two kids, to parent a “second” child. Not like “where will I find the time!” type thing, but like your father and I are first borns. I worry about being able to replicate Margo’s experience for you – give you comparable levels of attention, goods and services, photographs… You spoil your kids, and it’s no secret that first borns are the recipients for more of the above.
But then, you get something that Margo never got: you’re completing our family. When I think about my family growing up, it’s the four of us. There was this short period of time before Ashley was born and then she arrived and it was the four of us forever. The past 3 years where it’s been the 3 of us McQ’s has been so great. We feel blessed in so many ways but it’s really hard to fathom that in 20 years, we’ll look back and it’ll be the 4 of us, and the 3 years when it was the 3 of us will just be the time Before You. Margo won’t have a huge memory of life Before You, and I can only imagine the ways in which you’ll make everything feel more complete, different, unimaginable that we were a family Before You.
We don’t even know if you’re a boy or a girl yet. We’re all so excited. Your sister is already ready to shower you with gifts (she made me get a sippy cup for you for when you come out!) She tells everyone we meet that “Mommy has a baby in her belly!” and she says good night to you and sometimes even sings you songs. She sang Away in a Manger the other night – did you hear it?
I know before we know it, you’ll be here. Summer is coming and summer ALWAYS flies by (just really hoping it’s not a Too Hot summer this year!) Soon we’ll know if you’re a boy or a girl, we’ll make you a room in our house (you already have one in our hearts), and we’ll pick a name for you and buy you clothes. We have a lot to do, but now we’re just excited and the anticipation is joyful.
Momma (and Daddy and Margo)